Everything in Vegas is over the top. Nothing is understated — and that includes restaurants and the food they serve. Buffets are bountiful (you can eat your weight in King Crab legs) and options are never-ending, from hole in the wall diners to 5-star restaurants.

Whether you want a first class dining experience, artery clogging food or just a few mystery drinks, the options in Sin City won’t disappoint.

Eat the Highest-Calorie Burger in Existence at the Heart Attack Grill

The Heart Attack Grill, located downtown on Fremont Street, prides itself on being the most unhealthy place you can eat in Vegas — if not on the entire planet. The restaurant ironically serves its food with a tongue-in-cheek medical theme complete with waitresses dressed like nurses from a pin-up calendar, Jello shots pushed in syringes, wine dripped from IV bags and 3.4 oz shots slung from pill bottles.

Doctor, admit me now. RIGHT now.

The Grill holds the Guinness World Record for the Highest Calorie Burger, and you can get in a Single Bypass (one patty) up to a whopping Octuple Bypass — yes, that’s 8 patties with the option of adding 40 slices of bacon. They also serve up shakes with the world’s highest butterfat content, 1/2 pound Coronary Dogs, and both fries and onion rings fried in pure lard.

You eat free if you weigh over 350 pounds, too (though eating food that could induce a heart attack probably isn’t wise). The process begins by standing on a giant scale outside the restaurant that displays your weight to everyone on the street. If you weigh in and you’re unable to finish your meal, you get paddled by one of the nurses. That one’s up to you.

What we do know, though, is that The Heart Attack Grill has food with a “taste worth dying for.”

Drink Wine Delivered By a Wine Angel

Aureole, located inside Mandalay Bay, is one of the finest restaurants in the United States. The menu offers seasonal dishes that include artisan dry-aged beef and fresh seafood, but what makes it unique is the wine. In the center of the restaurant is a four-story glass wine tower. Once patrons chose their wine selection from the 3,000 bottles on the iPad wine list, a wine angel fetches the bottle.

WTF is a wine angel, you ask? It’s a woman wearing a black cat suit strapped into a harness who scales the wine tower to select your bottle. If that’s not majestic, then I don’t know what is — and it sure isn’t happening at your local Applebee’s.

Eat Inside the Eiffel Tower

Thanks to Vegas, you don’t have to fly all the way to Paris to eat at the Eiffel Tower. Aside from the experience of eating inside Paris Las Vegas’s Eiffel Tower replica, the food is amazing. You can order off the regular menu for brunch, lunch or dinner and imbibe from their award-winning wine list, or if you really want to be bougie you can opt for the tasting menu and get 6 amazing courses with a wine pairing.

Throughout the meal, you’ll get an amazing view of the Bellagio Fountains, which might even be better than the real view in France.

Shh! Go For Some Secret Pizza

It’s not such a secret anymore, but there’s pretty much a speakeasy for pizza in Vegas. Inside the Cosmopolitan is a pizza place down a nondescript hallway. Some say half the fun is trying to find it… and because of that, I won’t give you the specific instructions (you can Google it you want to do it the easy way).

Other than its hush-hush location, it’s not incredibly unique — but it is, however, an awesome (and cheap!) late night option. I, for one, need that kind of positivity in my life, and you probably do, too.

Drink Ass Juice Out of a Toilet Bowl 

This last suggestion is literal. You will drink Ass Juice out of a toilet bowl.

You can find this concoction at a small, amazingly dingy ass dive bar off the Strip called the Double Down. The place literally never closes, it’s covered in psychedelic art, and it’s filled with miscreants.

In short, it’s a blast.

Ass juice is their signature shot. What’s in it, you ask? No one knows, but it’s rumored to be the runoff from the bar. For $15, they’ll serve it to you in a small ceramic toilet that you get to keep. It’s the furthest thing from glamorous or classy, but it’s definitely badass.

Whether you want to indulge in the world’s most unhealthy cheat meal at the Heart Attack Grill or have a heavenly experience by having wine served to you via angels, you can do it all in Las Vegas.

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